Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
