i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
