Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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