guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
