Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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