I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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