Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
