just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize