I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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