Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
