I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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