The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
