I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
