i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize