Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
