You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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