Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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