saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
