I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
