I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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