SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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