oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
