yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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