I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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