Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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