Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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