I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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