Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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