Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize