As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
