google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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