fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
