he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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