Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
