..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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