Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
