I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
