I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
