I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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