She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You coming home soon, man?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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