puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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