Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
