And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
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Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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