Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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