Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
