The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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