i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize