I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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