Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
