You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This is the high leading the old right now
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
