Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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