I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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