Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
