Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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