if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
